Is Whitlock really this much of a bastard?

Far be it from me to want to keep the Erin Andrews story on people's minds any longer than it needs to be, but why would Jason Whitlock labor to find a silly race angle to this story? Not only does he directly blame Deadspin for the awful incident - despite the fact that Will Leitch wrote one of the more insightful pieces wondering whether the male sports blogosphere created an atmosphere where this horrific act might have been condoned - but he seems to somehow suggest that Pacman Jones, of all people, is the real victim here:

The Pacman Jones stripclub video served no journalistic purpose. It was aired on ESPN and everywhere else solely to titillate and entertain. The raw footage didn't help us understand the crime. There was no interaction between Jones, his entourage and the club's bouncers.

There were black asses shaking and black entertainers demonstrating how fools depart from their money. It was a reality version of Spike Lee's underrated movie Bamboozled.

America couldn't get enough of the Pacman video until Erin Andrews was caught dropping it like it was hot in front of a hotel mirror.

ESPN won't cover that story. It's climbed up on some high horse and is passing judgment on the New York Post for running pictures of ESPN's sideline Barbie.

I haven't read enough of his work to know, but he sounds disturbed or something. Is he really saying being caught undressed, unaware, by some pervert, amounts to "dropping it like it's hot"? And that Pacman Jones has the same expectation of privacy when he's throwing money around in a stripclub as anyone else should have IN THEIR HOTEL ROOM?

Sadly, had his column been about ESPN's sanctimonious silence in reference to the accusations against Ben Roethlisberger, he might have had a legitimate point about race and sports. What a jerk.

The five worst songs a major league player could use as their batting song

1. Anything by Joanna Newsom, Tori Amos, or Bjork. Imagine Newsom screeching Saaaaaaaaaaaadie over the PA as children burst into tears and dads wearing blackberry holsters cover their ears. Bjork – bonus if you get to play the video for Human Behavior, with its oversized animals running around, or that weird one where she’s in love with her cat. Terrifying and avant-garde at the same time! (And if you haven’t see the cat video, stop whatever you’re doing and watch it right now.)

2. Christmas music in general, but in particular a sad, resigned version of “Have yourself a merry little Christmas,” or something by Nat King Cole. This will be particularly dissonant on a hot August afternoon.

3. Johnny Cash’s version of Hurt by Nine Inch Nails. (Alternate, from the same album: Cash’s cover of Will Oldham’s I see a darkness.)

4. Any version of Space by the Grateful Dead.

5. Trois Gymnopedies by Erik Satie.

Summer in America: A couple of baseball notes

The first game of the Nats-Astros double-header in Houston last night featured a number of interesting things. The game was the continuation of a game that started in Washington last May, but was interrupted by rain. The Nats won the continued game last night – technically a home game for the Washington – in Houston.

The winning pitcher was Joel Hanrahan, who has since been traded to Pittsburgh. So, he picked up a win for a team that he no longer plays for. (His first win of the season, no less! Godspeed, Hanrahan!)

And the winning run was scored by…? Nyjer Morgan, who was acquired by the Nationals recently in the trade that sent Hanrahan to Pittsburgh. So, the game was won on a run by a baserunner who wasn’t on the team back in May, and the pitcher who won the game no longer plays for the winning team. And, again, the Nats pick up a home win, but in Houston.

Reminds me of the time last basketball season that Miami and Atlanta were playing in ATL. With about a minute to go, if memory serves, Shaq – who then played for the Heat – was ejected for committing his sixth foul. Except it was really his fifth,
because the refs screwed up. The game ended, Atlanta won.

And then Miami protested. The NBA, rightly, decided that the last minute of the game should be re-played, because Miami was unfairly deprived of Shaq’s presence in the game. For months, if you looked at the NBA scoreboard, you would see that this game still hadn’t ended. Kind of fun and bizarre. When they were able to re-schedule the game, both teams did ready to do battle, except that Shaq was no longer a Miami Heat player. They had traded him to Phoenix between the original and the re-scheduled date. So, the wrong being righted – Shaq’s absence – was, uh, not really righted.
If an American sports fan can accept these absurd scenarios – why are ties in soccer so hard to understand?

A "habitual" drunkard? What if you're more of an "inadvertent" drunkard?

Check out question 22 on page 8.

The mind races with possible follow-up statements:

"Yes, that was a bad night, but I stopped doing shots after that."

"I was HAPPY! I was a HAPPY drunk!"

"Sure, but then again...if alcohol weren't so delicious, we wouldn't be having this conversation, would we?"

And so on. (But for the record, USCIS, in case you're reading, the answer is no. Not a nazi, not a drunkard. Ok?)