22 July 2009

The five worst songs a major league player could use as their batting song

1. Anything by Joanna Newsom, Tori Amos, or Bjork. Imagine Newsom screeching Saaaaaaaaaaaadie over the PA as children burst into tears and dads wearing blackberry holsters cover their ears. Bjork – bonus if you get to play the video for Human Behavior, with its oversized animals running around, or that weird one where she’s in love with her cat. Terrifying and avant-garde at the same time! (And if you haven’t see the cat video, stop whatever you’re doing and watch it right now.)

2. Christmas music in general, but in particular a sad, resigned version of “Have yourself a merry little Christmas,” or something by Nat King Cole. This will be particularly dissonant on a hot August afternoon.

3. Johnny Cash’s version of Hurt by Nine Inch Nails. (Alternate, from the same album: Cash’s cover of Will Oldham’s I see a darkness.)

4. Any version of Space by the Grateful Dead.

5. Trois Gymnopedies by Erik Satie.

4 comments:

John Das Binky said...

Christmas Shoes. Also, it's the best/worst first wedding dance song ever.

Seriously, if you haven't heard this, it's something to be beheld.

Newmanium Reveler said...

Wow. So, the movie was based on the song...? Where the hell was I when this happened? And how bad is it that I recognized the female lead as the daughter from "Father of the Bride"?

Jordan Hirsch said...

"Father of the Bride" was a fine movie - or so I'm told, by my wife, who used to watch it something like 3x a week back in high school.

I had not yet seen the Bjork/cat video, and all I can say is...wow. Thank you for sharing that with me. Personally I've always loved the "Bachelorette" video but that's not quite as bizarre, just lovely and dream-like.

Jordan Hirsch said...

Forgot to mention - the Bachelorette vid was directed by Michel Gondry, so of course it's lovely and dream-like.