how I communicate with my classmates

Email sent yesterday:

Dear Young 'Uns,

Back when I was in the prime of my youth - before Lauryn Hill went solo, but well after Naughty by Nature's heyday - we used to do this thing called "pre-gaming." Do you kids still have that?

See, during the heady days that opened Clinton's second term, you could buy a pack of cigarettes for less than two dollars, minimum wage was about $5.15 an hour, and everyone had to watch tv when their shows were on instead of after the fact because the Internet was barely useful. We would call each other on landlines, and then come together to listen to cassette tapes while we enjoyed a libation or two before the start of whatever function we were attending. When the song we liked was over, we had to REWIND THE TAPE, unless someone had had the foresight to put "Red red wine" by UB40 or "Once in a lifetime" by the Talking Heads twice on the same side of a tape. Sadly, few of us ever did have that foresight.

In anticipation of the merriment this coming Thursday evening (namely, the GPPI holiday party), I am suggesting that you kids stop myspacing your tweets and recording your auto-tuned albums for half a night and join in on some pre-gaming.

Suggested location is XXXX on P street because apparently they run a BOGO on cocktails during happy hour from 4 to 7 and I think they're always empty. If you're not sure where that is, please consult a PHONE BOOK like we used to do back in the day, and then find yourself a map or a knowledgeable person who can point you there.

Time...6 pm sound ok? You know, before the advent of cell phones, you never had conversations that consisted entirely of "Hey, it's me, I'll be there in ten minutes." No. If someone was late to meet you, you just had to shut up and wait. Which you did while smoking, because it was all the rage back then.