Today in "Jesus, kids, what part of 'I went to college in the 1990s do you not understand?'"

[Before micro final tonight.]

Classmate KR: How long till we get tonight's grades? Shouldn't they be ready in a week or so?

Classmate ND: Maybe not till January, right?

Me: What are you guys basing this on?

KR: Well, at my college,there was a requirement that final exam results had to be posted on blackboard within 3 days of the final. How long was it at your school?

Me:...see, we didn't get our grades online back then. We had to wait for the mail.

(Predictably, this degenerates into me saying that final grades used to be delivered by pony, in a wax-sealed envelope, and that we rode said pony back to school.)